If I was enough, what would I do?
If I wasn’t trying to get someone, win approval, gain acceptance… how would I behave in “this” situation?
This is a great question to ask when we’re learning how to stop self-rejecting. Sometimes the answer will be to lean in when you want to run, and sometimes it will be setting a boundary or saying No.
When I asked myself this question, I actually couldn’t answer it. I got hung up because I literally hadn’t felt enough my whole life so I wasn’t even sure how a person would act if they were aware of their own value… I was STUMPED.
I searched the file room of my brain for ANY inkling of a feeling of “enough” and I found it!
My own children. They were born enough and they have remained enough every single day of their lives. They don’t have to achieve, perform, become ANYTHING in order to belong with me and have my love. They simply are enough.
I then tried to transfer that feeling of enough-ness to myself. While it wasn’t seamless, it did the trick. And I was able to begin to answer the question in different areas and relationships in my life.
Whenever I get stuck building self-worth, I think of the people in my life who are enough for me and I mirror that emotion for myself until it is truly for me.
And then I practice it. Every time my gut/intuition/inner flips a switch, I ask myself, “If I was enough just as I am (because I am), what would I do?”