Whether we realize it or not, we are a herd species. Connection is in our genetic makeup. We will never stop calculating our existence next to other humans.
“Am I too close? Not close enough? How often do I interact with people? What kind of interactions am I having? Am I happy with my partner? Do I long to have a partner? Will I be alone for the rest of my life?”
The questions of connection will never stop floating around in our minds… every single day. What would happen if we turned those questions into a small action?
Instead of wondering if we are social enough, we can make moves to answer that question actively. For instance, forgoing one night of Netflix alone on the couch with takeout for dining in and people watching (Baby steps. You don’t have to dive into a weekend of parties and social outings).
Or if the question is whether we are satisfied with our current relationship, we can take an hour or a day or a weekend and hold space to listen to our inner voice and rediscover our standard for fulfillment. Then we can take an honest look at what work needs to be put into our relationship or what steps need to be taken to get out of it.
The key to connection (with self, others, Higher Being, nature, and community) is to be ACTIVELY LIVING. Get out of the back seat of CONSTANTLY THINKING about living life and GO LIVE IT.
No grand gestures or major upheavals required, just set an intention to live INTO the question on your mind and FOLLOW THROUGH with it. It requires bravery, not genius. And we all have the courage within us if we choose it.
Protect your time, it’s your most valuable asset. Be generous with your experiences with your people–don’t be stingy or closed off to sharing moments or trying new things with the people you care about. And, for the love of all that is holy, be PRESENT in the moment you’re actually in–put your phone away, make eye contact, actively listen and respond, share closeness and hugs, be willing to be vulnerable and open in conversation.
It takes practice, but if you make strides everyday, your life will bloom. You will shift from merely existing to full-on LIVING.
May you find every damn thing your heart ever hoped for in LIFE.