When was the last time you had an honest conversation?
Was it an hour ago or maybe it’s been a week? Has it been a month or even years?
A lot of people believe having “honest, in-depth” conversations about their thoughts/beliefs, their relationship, or their feelings about themselves/the world/others is fine every once in a while… maybe every few months.
That method of relating is bullshit and here’s why:
When we go months, weeks, or even days without showing up in our relationships HONESTLY, we are in essence hiding ourselves from being known by our people.
Living honestly before others requires that we first live honestly before ourselves. If we’re not doing that, there’s no way on god’s green earth we’ll be showing up honestly in our relationships.
When I say “live honestly” or “show up honestly”, I mean, tap in and reveal the truest, most authentic version of yourself. This means you’ll have to practice self-awareness and introspection, engage in shadow work, and be able to identify and name your feelings. I know, insane, right?
If you’re not living genuinely in your connection to self, there is absolutely NO way you’ll ever be able to live genuinely with your partner, your kids, your friends, etc. Not only that, but you will be a risky relator–meaning your lack of connection to yourself will make you more of a wild card as your relationships ebb and flow through time and trials.
What is your standard for character? Is it an outside source? What is your pattern of integrity? Do you even know? What provokes you, triggers you, or sets you on fire? What do you need to be a peace and in flow?
If you don’t know the answers to these questions, are you consciously or subconsciously asking your partner/friends/parents to know them FOR you? Bullshit.
You know when people are living honestly (in their deepest level of conscious truth) because you leave conversations with them thinking things like, “Damn, that was refreshing. That person is so REAL.” So, think of the last time you had that thought and who provoked it. Let it be an expander for you to grow.
It’s time to level up, friends. If you aren’t showing up DAILY for honest conversations, your authenticity meter is out of whack. The good news is this: you can start right this minute!
Whether you’re talking to the cashier at the gas station or your partner, show up. Find the truest answer to questions about yourself or your day or your life. Commit to doing your own shadow work and not leaving that for the people who love you. Choose to study yourself so you can authentically be present in your life and relationships!
If you don’t feel seen or known by others, it’s because you’re still hiding parts of yourself from YOU and from the world. Get curious about that. Dig deeper. Lean in to self-care and start journaling.
It’s not difficult, it just takes awareness and a decision. No one can do it for you. You have ALL the power… which is freaking exciting!
Get after the honest life, people. There’s no other path more fulfilling!